If you’re not familiar with the science of getting what you want, not to worry. It happens to the best of families.
Simply join the club of the unfamiliar and learn what the science of getting what you want is all about instead.
The science of getting what you want is not about the short attention spans we’re getting used to more than ever before or so it seems.
On the contrary, knowing the activities or topics that interest you, engage you, or even excite your passion for the short run is a waste of energy and time as the short will be over before the week is over and then you have to do it all over again.
Knowing what interests you, engages you and ignites your inner flame — the experience you deserve for the rest of your journey between birth and death — makes sense only if done for the long run, for your entire journey. You want it to last once and for all.
Many word-users that struggle with knowing what they want. For them, it feels like climbing a mountain.
I should know what climbing a mountain feels like for I’ve been among the confused for a long time myself.
Beyond every horizon there is always more to see, and so my activities, topics of interests, and passions changed accordingly.
“What win I if I gain the thing I seek? A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy?
Who buys a minute’s myrth to wail a week, or seeks eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will divine destroy?” – Shakespeare
I know from personal experience that the short run will only wear you out in the long run.
Finally, to get a grip on what I want beyond the shadow of a doubt, I’ve read the self-help books and attended the motivational speaker seminars so you don’t have to.
Now I’m a motivational coach myself that’s telling you that the science of getting what you want is not a mountain to climb.
On the contrary, it is effortless if you hang on to the end of this post.
For your benefit
Take note that this post contains no truths, only words, and what you do with them is all up to you.
I can help for I know my words well before I write them, but I can’t do it for you, nor can anybody else.
When it’s time to decide what words are true or not, there’s no candle in the window.
You’ve got to find your own way home.
Belief
What do you better accept about belief?
Well, you better accept that:
- Nothing happens until it is believed
- Nothing is believed until it’s true
- The only one who can believe whether it is true (or not) is you
- Nobody else can do it for you.
Nothing happens
When you envision what you want daily and you believe that it will manifest sooner or later with all your heart, and when in at least some small way you prepare for its arrival, yet still nothing happens, then you know as the stars above, that this won’t happen in a million years.
Once you have decided that you are eager enough to achieve what you want…
- To be what you want to be
- To do what you want to do
- To have what you want to have
…means that you will take baby steps in the direction of what you deserve, rather than face another day without.
When it’s true that what you seek is seeking you, then you can’t help but open the floodgates.
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves, too.” – Johann Wolfgang Goethe
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr
The 5 hour rule
Many of the constant learners abide by the 5-hour rule:
- 1 hour a day on every weekday.
- Wake up early to read and write.
- Set personal-growth goals and track the results.
- Create/maintain a club for like-minded word-users that hope to help improve themselves and others.
- Turn your ideas into experiments.
- Plan your next day before you go to sleep the night before.
Each time the constant learners take time out of their busy days to follow the 5 hour rule, they accomplished less on that day. But in the long run it’s the best investment of the energy and time you can make.
“When there is no wall, there is no need of a window.” – Rumi
What you want
To understand what you want, waking up was a good first step, highly recommended, but not enough.
We’re all in this together.
It takes more to know what you want.
To know what you want beyond the shadow of a doubt, you must learn active noticing, which includes active listening, because it is the quickest way to pay the bulk of your attention to noticing what’s happening within you and without you.
When you do, you clearly see or rediscover, as the case may be, that you’ve responded to your most pressing wants since before you arrived into this world.
The ability to respond
Not only have you responded to your most pressing wants since before you were born, you’re doing it now, 100% of the time, whether you know it, are aware of it, or like it or not, or you wouldn’t be here.
Therefore, it follows that to know what you want, all you you’ve got to do is figure out what your most pressing wants will be for the rest of your journey because the only way to influence the rest of your journey is by the decisions you’re making today.
One of the big benefits of knowing WHAT you want is that many HOW decisions are made already before they even have a chance to show up.
What you want, part 2
We all want our sugar sweet, our salt salty. In other words, everything you can want, and then some, is on a permanent buffet far beyond anything you can imagine. That’s because the buffet has got nothing to do with our fleeting existence. It’s been there for as long as anyone remembers.
From this buffet of infinite possibilities, you can want to…
- Be somebody else (they’ve got to walk in their own shoes)
- Be free
- Own it all (where would you put it?)
- Have everything money can buy
- Have certainty (in an uncertain world)
- Make the world a better place
- Make you a better you
- __________________________________________(fill the blank)
Nobody said it would be easy, but as you can clearly see, it isn’t hard either.
There is a space between each of your wants and your response. In this space you are free to decide your decision. That is where your freedom is.
You can even ask why, of course, that’s the beauty of freedom.
Never back down or compromise?
To get what you want, is it better to hold fast and never back down, or to compromise?
I think it’s best to hold fast when you can, and to compromise when you need to, but maybe that’s more than you asked for.
Simply do what’s right at the right time.
Step 1
The first step to getting what you want is having the courage to leave what you no longer want.
On top of that, it’s also wise never to ask another for what you want. Don’t ask me. Don’t even ask yourself. Just give thanks instead, in advance, as if you already had whatever the old you would have asked for.
Energy
Everything is energy.
Everything energy invented…
At the end of the chain of evolution, you explains why you respond 100% of the time, too. Like everything before you.
Like everything before you, the ability to respond is not something you had to learn.
On top of that, you’re 70% water.
An like the water before, you dance to music long before you know that it would later be a word.
We’re all in this together.
I could be wrong as I have been so many times before.
Can you feel it, too?
Tallyho.
Communication techniques for achieving what you want
Communication is a fundamental aspect on your journey from birth to death. What do birth and death mean? What does what you want describe?
The most important communication by the use of words is with yourself. Other communication techniques are important too, but nothing trumps communicating what you want with yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, asking for somebody else to love you instead would be asking for the impossible which everybody knows isn’t fair.
The same applies to what you want. Expecting others to know what that is, would be disrespectful.
Actions speak louder than words
Non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can have a significant impact on how what you want is perceived.
Pay attention to your non-verbal cues. Listen with a smile, concentrate on having fun, relax and maintain an open posture. By utilizing actions that speak louder than words, you can enhance how what you want is getting across to others.
Empathy
Developing empathy is crucial when aiming to get what you want in a friendly manner.
Put yourself in the other word-user’s shoes. By seeking to understand their motivations, concerns, and limitations, you show that you value their perspective and are willing to find mutually beneficial solutions.
Empathy fosters healthy relationships, making it easier to work towards your desired outcomes together.
Negotiation
Negotiations with yourself and others is often an integral part of getting what you want, especially when dealing with conflicting interests between you and the world.
However, negotiation does not have to be confrontational or adversarial.
By employing getting to yes negotiation skills, you can facilitate a win-win outcome that satisfies all parties involved, and the chances of you getting what you want.
Takeaway
Getting what you want in a friendly way involves active noticing.
That is the quickest way to knowing what’s going on within you and without you.
That is what you respond to.
100% of the time.
The rest — response-ability, choice, compromise, step 1, energy, communication, actions, empathy, and negotiation — is technique.
Active noticing is what getting what you want is all about.